Just My Rant

I watched a wonderful movie tonight, no not the newest blockbuster or the next sci-fi thriller. As a matter of fact it is several years old and was made for TV but I had waited ages to finally see it. It’s called “Door to Door” with William Macy, a story about a man who against all odds spent his life (and still does) supporting himself. Bill Porter was born with cerebral palsy and was deemed unemployable from the start. His mother, as any good mother would do, told him nothing was out of his reach and when Bill finally got an interview with the Watkins company, she gave him these two words of advice … patience and persistence. Well Bill got that job and despite all the hurdles he would have to jump he made a successful living and supported himself, never asking or wanting to be a burden to anyone else. You can still see him today as the manager of Watkins online, the Watkins company website.

So you may be asking yourself what all this has to do with anything today. I was brought to tears by this movie and this man’s courage while watching this movie and then visiting the website but I was also inspired by his absolute refusal to lay down and allow others to take care of him. Pigheaded? Maybe, but I call it pride and self worth. I wonder why so many with far fewer problems than Bill insist on whining, bitching and moaning about their “horrible life” yet refuse to take one ounce of control over it and try to make it better. These day time “bitch sessions” the TV networks pawn off as entertainment are overflowing with those who have nothing better to do than make excuses for the type people they are and the things they do. These people refuse to accept that, even though life may have dealt them a cruel hand, THEY and only they, have the power to change their life for the better. When did an excuse become a way of life?

Now before anyone pounces on me as some cruel, uncaring cretin who has had everything handed to them let me put things right. Only those closest to me really know the horrors I have lived through and the many years of madness I have endured. My life too has been full of hardships, pain and sadness, some of which could be used as an excuse to become the type person seen every day on TV. These memories all came rushing back to me this month when I returned to my hometown to attend my grandmother’s funeral. I spent time with family, with friends I had not seen in almost 30 years, it even brought me face to face with my biological father who I had not seen since 1977. The years of suffering all came back to me on the long drive there and back. I remembered all the pain I had been subjected to as a child and the emotional scars it had left on me. But there is a difference here. I faced these problems and asked myself if I would allow what had made me who I am dictate the type of person I am and my answer was NO!

Everyone has their own demons to face, how they deal with those demons is an accounting of their character. To overcome those demons and set yourself in a path that takes you out of that pattern are the stories movies are made of. Bill Porter did this. He refused to let the crappy hand life dealt him dictate his self worth and his destiny. Now what’s YOUR excuse? Yes I call it an excuse because I know people far worse off than you, who have been through 10 times the pain you have been through, who have looked in that mirror and made the decision to no longer be a “victim”, to make the rest of their life mean something! Some of these people have gone on to do great things but you know what? You don’t have to do great things, far from it, you just have to set yourself on the path to become everything those horrible memories aren’t! You have to get MAD at yourself for letting your life be run by memories and then decide to change it! Yes you can be mad at the people or events that happened to you, it’s part of the healing process but you have to get mad and then say “It doesn’t matter anymore!”. No you cant change everything about your personality but you have to focus on what you don’t like about yourself and change it once and for all!

Someone once said “Life is what you make of it” and truer words have never been spoken. But until you decide to change it nothing will ever happen. I, myself looked back to the good things and to what I have in my life today. I looked to my grandmother who had always been there for me, no matter how badly I had screwed up. She was that non-judgmental type that could scold you without making you feel worthless. Then I looked to my current life, my wife who saved me from ruin because she knew deep down inside I was a good person who just needed a chance. My son, who even though hefights me tooth and nail on most things, is the greatest son a father could want. These are the things that make you stronger and help you work through the pain of by-gone days. AND if you don’t have anything like that in your life at this moment reach out, try to help someone with no expectations of reimbursement. You never know when that special person, your meaning of life may come to you!

So Bill Porter has become a hero to me of sorts. This man who did nothing more than refuse to accept his role as a “cripple”, who refused to allow himself to become a “ward of the system” has inspired me to, once again, look life in the face and say…….. You wont beat me down, not now not EVER! With my patience and persistence I WILL do what I want with my life, I will become the person I want to be and will never let my past haunt me again!

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